The following is a personal story from one of our members.
"Renewed effort" never worked for me. More knowledge and understanding
didn't either. Nor did firmer and more stringent boundaries. Nothing
worked until I finally accepted that I was and always would be a
sexaholic who was powerless, and that my only hope to stop slipping back into my old lustful ways was
to give up doing things my way, and really surrender to God, and start working
the Steps of the program under the direction of a sponsor.
I don't know how many times I had read through the Sexaholic
Anonymous book, but it was a lot. I had also read through the Alcoholics
Anonymous book a few times. I did not lack knowledge. I lacked
willingness. I was not yet willing to submit, surrender, give up my way,
and turn my will and life over to the care of God. I was not yet
willing to work the Steps under the direction of another sexaholic who
had himself submitted to working the steps under the direction of yet
another sexaholic, etc., etc., all the way back to the first alcoholics
who "found God".
As a great SA article reminds me, "You don't have to slip." I used
to believe that slipping was "inevitable", because I did it so much. But
that was just another lie I told myself. Slipping is only inevitable if
I keep trying to be my own god. But as I have learned more and more
what it means to surrender to the "One who has all power", I can say
with assurance that continuous sobriety is certainly possible. Not
because I can, but because "God could and would if He were sought."
Note: 'Slip' in this story refers to losing sexual sobriety after a period of being sober.
