Wednesday, December 1, 2021

Sobriety Milestones

 (The following post is the experience of one of our group members.)

In my earliest days of SA meeting attendance, I reported my length of sobriety along with everyone else at our local face-to-face meeting. So it was something that I tracked for that purpose if nothing else. But when I started to get longer lengths of sobriety, I did become prideful of "my achievement", and that attitude was a disaster waiting to happen. As expected, disaster did happen, with many years of relapsing and "going back out there" as the consequence.

In my earliest home group, some of the "old-timers" with longer lengths of sobriety started to introduce themselves by saying "I'm sober today" as a way to avoid making people with shorter lengths of sobriety feel "uncomfortable." Acting like I was following their lead, I started using that same "I'm sober today" line as a way to hide that I wasn't maintaining sobriety at all. (Everything really does boil down to my own attitudes and motives.) But when it got discussed at a group conscience meeting, the clear consensus from those of us with shorter terms of sobriety was that we needed to know that long-term sobriety was desirable and, more importantly, was truly possible. 

In my current period of sobriety, I had finally accepted that I was truly powerless over lust (Step 1). And with that admission, I had fully accepted that "my sobriety" was a gift from God, since I myself am powerless over lust. There is nothing to feel prideful about when all I am doing is accepting the work of God in my life through surrendering that which I am powerless over. 

Today I would say that more times than not, I have slid past my anniversary date without recognizing it until I introduce myself at the next meeting and am a bit surprised that yet another year has passed. 

Today I know that there is no "good reason" for me to ever act out again. Certainly I can start making a whole series of really bad choices that once again separates me from God and his power actively working in my heart and mind. And if I do that, I am most certainly well on my way to a relapse. But if I continue making the principles of this program my daily lifestyle, there is every reason to believe that God will continue to do for me what I cannot do for myself.  That is simply part of his loving nature.  And that still happens one day at a time, regardless of how many days that totals up to be.