(The following is a personal post from one of our group members.)
I find the first two words of the Serenity Prayer to be crucial for me to focus on and never forget: "God grant." It is another example of how God does for me what I can not do for myself. I am powerless; He has all power. It's also one of the early steps in learning some much needed humility, recognizing this isn't all about me, nor is my progress of my own doing.
In our local group we pray out loud together the Serenity Prayer and the other prayers from our literature such as the Third Step Prayer, the Seventh Step Prayer, and Eleventh Step Prayer. I appreciate how in each of these prayers I am reminded that my dependence is on God.
"...Thee to build with me and do with me...."
"Relieve me...."
"Take away my difficulties...."
"...you now remove...."
"Grant me...."
"Lord, make me...."
"Lord, grant...."
Every time I hear someone refer to the 12 Step program as a "self help" program, I wonder if they really have any idea what this program is all about. When I was "helping myself", I was acting out. For me, this is a "God grant" program, because if he doesn't grant it, I'm not going to have it.
Monday, October 30, 2017
Monday, October 9, 2017
Hope for Freedom
(The following is a personal post from one of our group members.)
One of the greatest hopes in recovery for me has been the realized hope for freedom. I say "greatest", because I didn't believe it was possible for me to have freedom from the obsessions and compulsions of my addiction. As an addict, I am powerless over lust, so what hope could I have? As I sat in meetings in the earlier years, the majority of us were still showing up week after week to report on our latest acting out episodes. I was definitely part of the majority. The majority clearly had no hope for freedom.
But there it was in the literature: "If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness." (AA The Promises) "We discovered that we could stop, that not feeding the hunger didn't kill us, that sex was indeed optional. There was hope for freedom, and we began to feel alive." (SA The Solution) And there it also was in the experience of the few. There were of course those few members who somehow had realized the "hope for freedom" that the rest of us said we wanted, but never saw happen.
As for me (and I suspect for the others in the majority as well), I now know that it was because I still wanted to play with lust, but not have to suffer the consequences. I wanted to be free from lust's power, but still depend on my own power to win the battle. I wanted God's help, but still wanted to avoid turning my will and life over to Him. I wanted to be rid of the habit, but still be able to keep the rest of my life running on my terms. ("If we want the old life intact, simply minus the habit, we don't really want healing, for our sickness is the old way of life." SAWB Step 12)
Immersing myself in the literature, going to meetings, and working the 12 Steps as my sponsor told me to do them was the key to beginning to have hope for freedom. And that hope has been realized. Today, God gives me freedom from lust and the obsessions and compulsions of my addiction! It is true. It will happen. But it comes at a price, a price I now wondered why I ever questioned if it was worth paying.
One of the greatest hopes in recovery for me has been the realized hope for freedom. I say "greatest", because I didn't believe it was possible for me to have freedom from the obsessions and compulsions of my addiction. As an addict, I am powerless over lust, so what hope could I have? As I sat in meetings in the earlier years, the majority of us were still showing up week after week to report on our latest acting out episodes. I was definitely part of the majority. The majority clearly had no hope for freedom.
But there it was in the literature: "If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness." (AA The Promises) "We discovered that we could stop, that not feeding the hunger didn't kill us, that sex was indeed optional. There was hope for freedom, and we began to feel alive." (SA The Solution) And there it also was in the experience of the few. There were of course those few members who somehow had realized the "hope for freedom" that the rest of us said we wanted, but never saw happen.
As for me (and I suspect for the others in the majority as well), I now know that it was because I still wanted to play with lust, but not have to suffer the consequences. I wanted to be free from lust's power, but still depend on my own power to win the battle. I wanted God's help, but still wanted to avoid turning my will and life over to Him. I wanted to be rid of the habit, but still be able to keep the rest of my life running on my terms. ("If we want the old life intact, simply minus the habit, we don't really want healing, for our sickness is the old way of life." SAWB Step 12)
Immersing myself in the literature, going to meetings, and working the 12 Steps as my sponsor told me to do them was the key to beginning to have hope for freedom. And that hope has been realized. Today, God gives me freedom from lust and the obsessions and compulsions of my addiction! It is true. It will happen. But it comes at a price, a price I now wondered why I ever questioned if it was worth paying.
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