(The following is a post from one of our group members.)
The AA Big Book has this oft quoted statement: “First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work.” That is so simply and so straightforward. It seems so obvious that the first time I read it, it put a smile on my face. Now if only I had done something about it the first time I read it!
No, it took me a seriously long time to finally get so demoralized that I "gave up, let go, and let God." I desperately wanted to play god. I was living in the delusion that I needed to be in control, and all I needed was a little help from God periodically when something got really tough, and then I'd go back to being in control again, thank you very much. God would be a handy extra boost when I needed him, but I was hoping to be the one running my own life.
That's been one of the unforeseen benefits of being a sexaholic. I've got this continuous, built-in reminder that I am not in control. I'm powerless over lust and my life had become unmanageable (Step 1). I needed a new Manager. I needed a real Power (Step 2). I needed a real God, because without God, I would be lost in my helplessness, beaten by lust and by my long list of character defects.
Working the Steps of the program was the beginning of real spiritual progress (not perfection) in stopping playing God. While working Steps 4, 5 and 6, my sponsor did a great job in showing me just how much I was making myself or other people my god. Turns out I did it all the time! But the program also gave me a new way of living, a way of living that allows me to continue to make progress in letting God be God. And one of the ways I remind myself every day that I am not God is to begin the day in prayer with the simple statement, "You are God, and I am not god."
