(This is a personal post from one of our group members.)
For me, the problem isn't really porn or masturbation or any other particular form of sexual acting out behavior. It's about lust. Sometimes I think it would be better to call our program Lust Addicts Anonymous.
If I am not lusting, I will not turn to porn or masturbation or sex. But because I am an SA, if I am lusting , I will inevitably end up acting out sexual behaviors (which for me includes porn use and masturbating). Focusing on avoiding porn is a solution that is doomed to failure for me as a true addict. Porn use is a result of my lusting, not the cause of it.
For the SA, lust is the drug. God is the solution. The 12 Step program is the path to a right relationship with God, who can and will keep a surrendered lust addict sober.
That's my experience.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Monday, January 9, 2017
Freedom is possible
(This is a personal post from one of our group members.)
I recently returned from a business trip to a large Asian city. I found the contrast between my previous days prior to working the Steps with a sponsor and being in recovery and what is happening today to be quite striking. I love the freedom that God has given me from the obsessions and compulsions, and that was in evidence during this trip.
For me, surrendering lust and the ongoing work of the program's "maintenance Steps" means that acting out simply isn't going to happen. It's not that I have confidence in myself, it's that I have confidence in God. God has proven himself faithful to take care of whatever I surrender to him.
Certainly I wasn't in control of many things while on this trip. The "exotic" nature of this city was obvious everywhere. Yes, vendors literally shoved pornographic videos in my face, many people were obviously dressed to be sexually attractive, and the brothels were obvious as well. There was nothing I could do about any of that.
But not only did those things not result in acting out behavior for me (compulsions), I was able to remain free from the obsessions that previously would occupy vast amounts of my mind-space when I was in similar situations in the past. I continued to surrender, and God continued to be faithful to keep me free. I was able to be present in the moment, focused on the people and content of the conference I was attending.
Freedom is sweet! And it really is possible, even though I didn't believe that prior to my own experience with working the SA program (working the 12 Steps with a sponsor in the fellowship of others who are doing the same). As our literature reminds us, God can and will if he is sought.
I recently returned from a business trip to a large Asian city. I found the contrast between my previous days prior to working the Steps with a sponsor and being in recovery and what is happening today to be quite striking. I love the freedom that God has given me from the obsessions and compulsions, and that was in evidence during this trip.
For me, surrendering lust and the ongoing work of the program's "maintenance Steps" means that acting out simply isn't going to happen. It's not that I have confidence in myself, it's that I have confidence in God. God has proven himself faithful to take care of whatever I surrender to him.
Certainly I wasn't in control of many things while on this trip. The "exotic" nature of this city was obvious everywhere. Yes, vendors literally shoved pornographic videos in my face, many people were obviously dressed to be sexually attractive, and the brothels were obvious as well. There was nothing I could do about any of that.
But not only did those things not result in acting out behavior for me (compulsions), I was able to remain free from the obsessions that previously would occupy vast amounts of my mind-space when I was in similar situations in the past. I continued to surrender, and God continued to be faithful to keep me free. I was able to be present in the moment, focused on the people and content of the conference I was attending.
Freedom is sweet! And it really is possible, even though I didn't believe that prior to my own experience with working the SA program (working the 12 Steps with a sponsor in the fellowship of others who are doing the same). As our literature reminds us, God can and will if he is sought.
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