(The following is a personal post from one of our group members.)
In our local group, we are reading our way through the Sexaholics Anonymous book. That has been our pattern ever since we founded the group more than 15 years ago, and we start over each time we get to the end. In a recent meeting we read the following quote from Step Four on page 106.
Without facing the truth about ourselves, there is no hope for lasting sobriety, serenity, and freedom.
"I could never figure out why knowing the truth about God never set me free. Or the truth about psychology or the Twelve Step program. But when I finally came to the place where I saw the truth about me—and despaired. . . . Well, that was the beginning."
What a relief to finally face the great FEAR—ourselves!
As I read this section, it really hit me when it said, "I saw the truth about me--and despaired." Despaired. Yes, I despaired as I looked at myself with enough honesty to see what I had become. But not only what I had become, but that I had to admit that I was hopeless, powerless to do anything about me.
At that point, it didn't matter anymore what I thought I knew about God or anything else for that matter. What I had to have was a God who would do for me what I could not do for myself. And at that moment, that is all that mattered.
Facing myself in Step 4 wasn't easy. It was painful. It revealed all sorts of things that I had been afraid of having to face, to honestly admit were true. But without facing that "great fear" head on, there was no way I was going to find freedom from the bondage of lust, the old drug that I had used to keep from having to take that honest look within.
My sponsor once told me that taking Step 3 was to make the commitment to work the rest of the 12 Steps. That's a really good explanation. Without a commitment to take the next step, to really "face the great fear", there would be no honest working of Step 4. And without the work of Step 4 and all the Steps that followed, there would be no hope for continued sobriety for a sexaholic like me.
Thank God that the Steps really do work and that God is both good and powerful. Sobriety and recovery really can happen.
