(This is a personal post from one of our members.)
Here's an important principle for me to remember: "Selfishness - self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt." (AABB p. 62)
Before working the Steps of this program, I was pretty good at living in the self-delusion that I wasn't really being selfish, because I could convince myself (and often others as well) that I was the one who was wronged. I could point out that I had the right to stand up for myself and protect myself. I was in the right and didn't deserve the treatment that I got.
Doing Step 4 inventory work and sharing that with my sponsor helped change that delusion. By the time I reached the final column on the inventory sheet, everything else had been stripped away, and I was only left with admitting my wrongs in each and every situation. In the end, it didn't matter what anyone else had done. It was clear that "selfishness - self-centeredness" was at the root of my troubles, even when I had convinced myself that I had been wronged and had a right to hold onto my resentment.
The SA program is all about working the 12 Steps. My experience is that working those Steps really was the start of a new way of life in which I'm set free from lust and selfishness as I surrender those to God. The Steps have led to a "freedom I could otherwise never know."
